Banbury Fete & Cider Festival
From the first sound of wood on coconut to the inevitable screaming siren of the armed response unit, Banbury fete and cider festival owns the August bank holiday weekend. Some say the bouncy castle is the best in the UK while others simply ask "where has all of my money gone? why does everything hurt? why am I without trousers?" but everyone can agree that Banbury fete and cider festival sets the international standard for places to "have a go" at morris dancing after 15 pints.
43.6 / 50 — Jolly good show
Based on 5 ratings. Each category is scored out of 10 by fete-goers, averaged, then added up to a total out of 50.
What people are saying
As a grocer, lover of pastries, and donkey ride enthusiast I gravitate towards local fetes. Fetes are my jam. Mmmmm jam. So it came to pass that I found myself in Banbury during the August bank holiday of 1994. It had been a glorious few years; Britpop was in full swing, Jungle was evolving into Drum and Bass, and the cheesecake had just been invented. Life was good. As soon as I crossed the threshold to the fete (delineated, as is Banbury tradition, by a wicker man) I was handed a libation. Althogh the cider did not taste strong after the first three it felt like I'd suffered an embolism and most of my motor skills deserted me. As I sat on the floor to recover some locals gathered around me and started tapping the side of my head with their spoons to, in their words, "get the lurvely yolk out of that big egg my duuurk" seemingly oblivious to my protestation. I made my escape from the increasingly violent Banbarians and found myself in the buttery busom of the cake stall. This would be my Woodstock. I set to work, devouring laarvly cake after laarvly cake, my belly distending, and my spoon-bruised head sweating. All of a sudden there was a tap on my shoulder, a small leathery old lady, and she said "pack tha' in roight now my duuurk or we'll 'ave to put yer in the wicker maaan". Her nightmarish Banbury face and elongated vowels disgusted me and I made my escape. In summary, the fete is incredible but the cake stand gets a 0 because they could not take the Gregging I was giving them.
Banbury and cider - what could go wrong? 😉
I love a good English fete and when I get a break from recording Cameos enodorsing the IRA and flogging gold I travel the length and breadth of the land to sample the culture that this great country has to offer. The Banbury Cider fete is everything that makes this nation the best in the world - morris dancing, alcohol, half-wit people of voting age, and bouncy castles. My only criticism is the cake stall - too many chocolate cakes for my taste. During one of the morris dancing exhibitions the locals became confused by the dancer who was playing the Moor and formed a lynch mob, which was lovely to see. I'll definitely come back to Banbury, my sort of place. Cheers!
I still remember the day I got the call, having at first to pinch myself before fully realising; Banbury Fete & Cider fest wanted me, the Soul Boy, to perform. My personal and professional motto is 'every night is ladies night' and never before has my conviction been so tested. I'll admit that I was unprepared. As patient zero of several novel stds I thought I'd seen it all but Banbury was an eye opener (all three eyes) but I did my best to spread the peace, love, understanding, and genital warts that I always do. It was a magical experience and I hope some day to return and again make sweet love to the ears of the denizens of Banburyshire. I hope you comprehend. M
Everything were great until I ate a cake laced with PCP. Due to a court order I'm not allowed to go into what happened next.